What To Do When Others Resist Your Positive Changes
I recently released a radio show on sensitivity. Sensitive is a loaded word with a lot of stigma, so we focused on finding your strength as a sensitive individual, and finding the gift therein. It can be difficult letting go of other peoples projections, and sensitive people tend to take other people’s baggage on without meaning to. We feel things more acutely. But awareness helps. The awareness of what is yours and what is someone else’s stuff. We can stop letting other people make us doubt ourselves, and learn to let go of the emotional baggage people around us throw at us. There is a lot to learning to recognize manipulations, defenses and projections so that they don’t throw you off-center.
If others don’t understand you, acknowledge you, or respect you, sometimes you just have to walk away from an argument and let it be their problem. It can be easy to fall into
codependence and try to change convince and cajole the other person. But sometimes, instead, we have to separate ourselves from their negativity, and be okay if they don’t get it. We need to let go of it in our bodies, relax the adrenaline, de-focus our attention, and notice if we are holding our breath. Making sure to breath and continue to move energy, bodily as well as on the emotional and mental levels is so important to not taking things on or holding them inside. The old adage, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, reminds us that sometimes life has a way of testing us, to see if the changes we’re making, such as being more assertive and standing up for ourselves rather than being bullied, are becoming firmly embedded in our lives. This way, we can live more empowered lives with greater confidence. It’s about finding your true power.
So take it as a good sign; when there is resistance it means you are up against something great! Don’t get caught up in the details, because this can be a total trap. And it’s other people’s trap! You have to recognize it as such, instead of taking on the problems of the world. Of course if there’s anything to take responsibility for and learn, you can do that without being hard on yourself or blaming yourself. Then you can see it as a challenge that you can handle, rather than a defeat.
Letting ourselves be authentic can be a challenge with all the outside feedback telling us to be a certain way. Don’t let anyone make you feel wrong for being yourself. When you change a big pattern, it is very common for people around you to unintentionally try to sabotage and bring you back to where you were, because that’s who they know and that’s what they’re familiar with. And guess what? If you really mean your change? Then that means THEY have to change too. And they often don’t want to do that because it’s unknown territory! So if you want to help someone, be yourself. And don’t feel guilty for it. Say what you need to say, set the boundaries you need to set, take your time in relationships, never do anything you feel uncomfortable with or let people pressure you into anything, even subtly! It’s okay to raise your own upper limit! Can you accept people into your life who are good for you, and say no to the ones who are abusive, disrespectful, or just not for you? You can if you choose. So, give yourself permission to stand your ground and receive only what you’re worth and nothing less.